wherever it was that we went (somewhere near arashiyama),
i'm glad we did.
it couldn't have come at a better time.
lots of laughs, lots of fun.
i'll post some pictures later.
....and write about the actual trip itself.
i just got back from spending the night at mashi's.
my head hurts.
hangover? exhaustion? stress?
hopefully just a combination of the latter two.
i think i'll go shower now.
and then maybe wander around katsura river.
go against japanese societal rules & sunbathe in my bikini.
maybe birdwatch, journal some more, and read?
i don't know....
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
one day at a time
i left the house without a clear idea of where i wanted to go.
i ended up at the kamogawa (river).
sitting by the banks, i journaled for a long time.
unfortunately, i only had enough in me to write about heart matters.
i was too exhausted to begin thinking about everything else at that point.
i called alex after and invited her to hike through the senbon torii with me.
we met up at kyoto eki and arrived at fushimi inari after just two JR stops.
it was a great day for walking and hiking ^_^
the temperature had cooled down by later afternoon.
i didn't know alex too well at all,
and i figured a long walk/hike would be a good way to become better friends. we have a lot more in common than i realized,
and i guess there will be lots of opportunities next year to chill =]
i just realized that i hadn't taken any pictures at all.
oh well, the memory lives on in my mind XD
google image search "fushimi inari".
no combination of pictures will do its beauty justice,
but it's the next best thing =P
i called my host mom from the train platform,
asking if i could have dinner at home & then go to the river afterwards.
she said it was fine, just don't stay out too late.
then i got home.
and it was the most awkward dinner ever.
i don't want to go into the details.
long story short, i'm still sitting at home.
and won't be leaving the house tonight.
i wasn't forbidden from going,
but i might as well been =(
alice just left for school.
friends in america are still sleeping.
friends in japan are at the river.
wonderful.
going to bed at 10pm.
someone set me free from this country.......
i ended up at the kamogawa (river).
sitting by the banks, i journaled for a long time.
unfortunately, i only had enough in me to write about heart matters.
i was too exhausted to begin thinking about everything else at that point.
i called alex after and invited her to hike through the senbon torii with me.
we met up at kyoto eki and arrived at fushimi inari after just two JR stops.
it was a great day for walking and hiking ^_^
the temperature had cooled down by later afternoon.
i didn't know alex too well at all,
and i figured a long walk/hike would be a good way to become better friends. we have a lot more in common than i realized,
and i guess there will be lots of opportunities next year to chill =]
i just realized that i hadn't taken any pictures at all.
oh well, the memory lives on in my mind XD
google image search "fushimi inari".
no combination of pictures will do its beauty justice,
but it's the next best thing =P
i called my host mom from the train platform,
asking if i could have dinner at home & then go to the river afterwards.
she said it was fine, just don't stay out too late.
then i got home.
and it was the most awkward dinner ever.
i don't want to go into the details.
long story short, i'm still sitting at home.
and won't be leaving the house tonight.
i wasn't forbidden from going,
but i might as well been =(
alice just left for school.
friends in america are still sleeping.
friends in japan are at the river.
wonderful.
going to bed at 10pm.
someone set me free from this country.......
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
thank you
to my friends,
thank you so much for your kind words.
they couldn't have come at a better time.
i am blessed to have you in my life.
whether it's hours away in japan,
or from across an ocean,
you have shown me love and support,
and I am so so thankful.
<3
i'm doing a lot better this morning.
still, i have things weighing heavily on my mind.
i think i'm going to wander through the senbon torii at fushimi inari shrine---
maybe clear my anxious thoughts and reflect on the past eight months.
http://www.sacred-destinations.com/japan/kyoto-fushimi-inari.htm
thank you so much for your kind words.
they couldn't have come at a better time.
i am blessed to have you in my life.
whether it's hours away in japan,
or from across an ocean,
you have shown me love and support,
and I am so so thankful.
<3
i'm doing a lot better this morning.
still, i have things weighing heavily on my mind.
i think i'm going to wander through the senbon torii at fushimi inari shrine---
maybe clear my anxious thoughts and reflect on the past eight months.
http://www.sacred-destinations.com/japan/kyoto-fushimi-inari.htm
a little unwell
the past two days haven't been easy.
yesterday, i watched one of my best friends suffer a severe allergy attack while we were at the katsura imperial villa. i called my host mom about the nearest hospital in katsura, but luckily, her host father was able to pick her up and get her to a hospital in shijo [where she lives]. i'm glad to say that she's doing much better now. [how was the imperial villa otherwise? beautiful, historial....but nothing that made any lasting impression.]
meanwhile, mia and i went to teramachi to pass some time before birdwatching later that afternoon. she was able to pick up some presents for her cousins in osaka, where she'll be spending five days with her extended family before going to fukui with me on sunday. no surprise, we ended up at starbucks and talked about the most ridiculous things =]
we were right on time heading out to kitayama....until we took the wrong subway. we [consciously? unconsiously?] stood on the wrong side of the platform and didn't notice our mistake until a couple stops later. so we backtracked and got ourselves late. [but really....that's not uncommon.] we saw our professor and friends on the other side of the gate/railing. because we were late, i decided to take a "shortcut" and crawled onto the other side without first going through the turnstile---i had completely forgotten about that and didn't realize what i had done [even though everyone was like, WHAT are you doing?!?! are you trying to get yourself arrested??] i can be so clueless sometimes XD
anyway, we saw some new birds---the spot-billed duck, barn swallow, and the long-tailed tit. we also saw a lot of little ducklings ~ they were sooo adorable! long story short, we hiked up into the second-growth deciduous forest by the marsh after the pond---a really good outing overall.
there was swings at the playground nearby, and i just had to go swing for a little bit. so mia, nestor, and greg hung around while i did that for a few minutes ^_^ then we stopped at a konbini, and i almost bought alcohol [new fruit cocktail] but didn't. that was probably a good idea....
my friends and i parted ways at shijo. i made my way to the hankyu karasuma platform and instantly felt my stress level and blood pressure spike upwards. i was suddenly surrounded by Japanese people shoving and pushing again. i felt such an intense mixture of anger, frustration, pity, and sadness. i fought back tears on the walk back home. i didn't want my host mom to see. i couldn't wait to go home, where i wouldn't feel like a second-class citizen. i know i'll elaborate more about the way i perceive daily life for japanese people in a later post, so i'll stop here for now.
when i got home, i was excited to see matt online. he had stayed up for me because conversation had been scarce the past several days. unfortunately, we both had our separate stresses, and the night didn't end the way we had imagined. i'll skip ahead to today. we talked. but only briefly. he wanted to take things back a few steps for now, which left me completely confused. and hurt. we both knew where we stood. that we were both too busy and had too much going on (and will have too much going on) to pursue a serious relationship at any point in the near future. we haven't seen each other since august of 2008; we don't consider ourselves to be "dating"....how many more steps back could we go? whatever the case, i respect his feelings. i'm not angry with him. D and M on the other hand....well, they're not quite as "understanding", understandably. i trusted him not to hurt me. and they did too. anyway, i'll leave the details for one-on-one conversations.
i was already feeling really stressed about various things to begin with. unfortunately, hearing that from matt finally pushed me past my breaking point. i'm sure my host parents heard me from the front yard unforunately. [i am so thankful to have mia and danielle in my life.] i calmed down after i talked to them on the phone, but i felt so alone at that point. danielle had host family obligations tonight, and mia is in osaka. alice was still asleep. and my other closest friends were out of reach and halfway around the world somewhere.
there are so many things that i have yet to take in. cheerleading captain ~ it's my senior year, and i don't want to let myself or the squad down. i'm worried i won't live up to expectations. senior admissions fellow ~ i have yet to hear back. i'll know soon, but the waiting doesn't help my anxiety any. MOQA elections ~ i didn't realize i was nominated for both treasurer and co-president. i had to choose one. i chose co-president. i haven't heard back from chelsea....so have elections even happened yet?? the decision to finish my pre-med requirements (w/o the orgo) ~ right thing to do? i'm not sure yet, but my senior year is now completely full both academically and "extracurricular-ly".
whatever happens, everything will be okay in the end. not getting the admission fellows job will mean more time for hw and studying. not getting elected co-president will mean less responsibility in ensuring success of coming out week in october and the month-long gaypril events. finishing pre-med requirements as best i can during undergrad will mean that i'm keeping open the option to pursue med school later on should i decide to. finally, i probably wouldn't be happy anyway, if i weren't buried up to my neck in things to do =P
the good parts about today:
one, i got to ride on the back of danielle's bicycle from campus to shijo.
so many stories from that alone XD
two, online shopping for alice's prom dress over skype.
can't wait until she gets home from school today =]
three, i was reminded of how lucky i am to have such awesome friends.
i LOVE you guys!
four, i made time to lose myself in a couple episodes of the L word.
so good to escape from reality for a while.
it won't be without bumps in the road, but i'll make it through these last days in japan just fine. and even if i've never felt lonlier, i know His presence is never too far away ~ thanks Danielle, for reminding me. to those of you keeping up with me through my blog ~ thank you =) it means a lot to me.
(please remember me in your prayers. i could definitely use some guidance right about now. )
yesterday, i watched one of my best friends suffer a severe allergy attack while we were at the katsura imperial villa. i called my host mom about the nearest hospital in katsura, but luckily, her host father was able to pick her up and get her to a hospital in shijo [where she lives]. i'm glad to say that she's doing much better now. [how was the imperial villa otherwise? beautiful, historial....but nothing that made any lasting impression.]
meanwhile, mia and i went to teramachi to pass some time before birdwatching later that afternoon. she was able to pick up some presents for her cousins in osaka, where she'll be spending five days with her extended family before going to fukui with me on sunday. no surprise, we ended up at starbucks and talked about the most ridiculous things =]
we were right on time heading out to kitayama....until we took the wrong subway. we [consciously? unconsiously?] stood on the wrong side of the platform and didn't notice our mistake until a couple stops later. so we backtracked and got ourselves late. [but really....that's not uncommon.] we saw our professor and friends on the other side of the gate/railing. because we were late, i decided to take a "shortcut" and crawled onto the other side without first going through the turnstile---i had completely forgotten about that and didn't realize what i had done [even though everyone was like, WHAT are you doing?!?! are you trying to get yourself arrested??] i can be so clueless sometimes XD
anyway, we saw some new birds---the spot-billed duck, barn swallow, and the long-tailed tit. we also saw a lot of little ducklings ~ they were sooo adorable! long story short, we hiked up into the second-growth deciduous forest by the marsh after the pond---a really good outing overall.
there was swings at the playground nearby, and i just had to go swing for a little bit. so mia, nestor, and greg hung around while i did that for a few minutes ^_^ then we stopped at a konbini, and i almost bought alcohol [new fruit cocktail] but didn't. that was probably a good idea....
my friends and i parted ways at shijo. i made my way to the hankyu karasuma platform and instantly felt my stress level and blood pressure spike upwards. i was suddenly surrounded by Japanese people shoving and pushing again. i felt such an intense mixture of anger, frustration, pity, and sadness. i fought back tears on the walk back home. i didn't want my host mom to see. i couldn't wait to go home, where i wouldn't feel like a second-class citizen. i know i'll elaborate more about the way i perceive daily life for japanese people in a later post, so i'll stop here for now.
when i got home, i was excited to see matt online. he had stayed up for me because conversation had been scarce the past several days. unfortunately, we both had our separate stresses, and the night didn't end the way we had imagined. i'll skip ahead to today. we talked. but only briefly. he wanted to take things back a few steps for now, which left me completely confused. and hurt. we both knew where we stood. that we were both too busy and had too much going on (and will have too much going on) to pursue a serious relationship at any point in the near future. we haven't seen each other since august of 2008; we don't consider ourselves to be "dating"....how many more steps back could we go? whatever the case, i respect his feelings. i'm not angry with him. D and M on the other hand....well, they're not quite as "understanding", understandably. i trusted him not to hurt me. and they did too. anyway, i'll leave the details for one-on-one conversations.
i was already feeling really stressed about various things to begin with. unfortunately, hearing that from matt finally pushed me past my breaking point. i'm sure my host parents heard me from the front yard unforunately. [i am so thankful to have mia and danielle in my life.] i calmed down after i talked to them on the phone, but i felt so alone at that point. danielle had host family obligations tonight, and mia is in osaka. alice was still asleep. and my other closest friends were out of reach and halfway around the world somewhere.
there are so many things that i have yet to take in. cheerleading captain ~ it's my senior year, and i don't want to let myself or the squad down. i'm worried i won't live up to expectations. senior admissions fellow ~ i have yet to hear back. i'll know soon, but the waiting doesn't help my anxiety any. MOQA elections ~ i didn't realize i was nominated for both treasurer and co-president. i had to choose one. i chose co-president. i haven't heard back from chelsea....so have elections even happened yet?? the decision to finish my pre-med requirements (w/o the orgo) ~ right thing to do? i'm not sure yet, but my senior year is now completely full both academically and "extracurricular-ly".
whatever happens, everything will be okay in the end. not getting the admission fellows job will mean more time for hw and studying. not getting elected co-president will mean less responsibility in ensuring success of coming out week in october and the month-long gaypril events. finishing pre-med requirements as best i can during undergrad will mean that i'm keeping open the option to pursue med school later on should i decide to. finally, i probably wouldn't be happy anyway, if i weren't buried up to my neck in things to do =P
the good parts about today:
one, i got to ride on the back of danielle's bicycle from campus to shijo.
so many stories from that alone XD
two, online shopping for alice's prom dress over skype.
can't wait until she gets home from school today =]
three, i was reminded of how lucky i am to have such awesome friends.
i LOVE you guys!
four, i made time to lose myself in a couple episodes of the L word.
so good to escape from reality for a while.
it won't be without bumps in the road, but i'll make it through these last days in japan just fine. and even if i've never felt lonlier, i know His presence is never too far away ~ thanks Danielle, for reminding me. to those of you keeping up with me through my blog ~ thank you =) it means a lot to me.
(please remember me in your prayers. i could definitely use some guidance right about now. )
Sunday, April 26, 2009
anxiety & restlessness
it's monday. and there are no classes! =]
finals are completely done & over with.
i've been up since 5am, but there's hardly anyone online right now.
my friends are probably still sleeping (japan) or at dinner (the States).
i ended up going to church yesterday afterall, and i'm glad i did =]
i'll definitely stop by to say hello when i visit kyoto again.
i still have a terrible cough, but no other cold symptoms...
i hope it goes away soon.
it's 8am, and i'm already feeling really anxious for the day to begin.
skyping with alice now. and talking to mia online ~ she just woke up =]
10:30am ~ katsura imperial villa
3:30pm ~ birdwatching at mizorogaike with my ecology prof.
i just want to go home already =(
....and study japanese, chinese, bio, chem & physics.
i miss middlebury and want to go back.
i can't wait to be completely busy with things that matter to me again.
in a nutshell, i'm just really anxious for the future, both near and far.
and i can't even express myself coherently right now (this blog post is proof)
maybe i'll sit down tomorrow & write a "real" post.
finals are completely done & over with.
i've been up since 5am, but there's hardly anyone online right now.
my friends are probably still sleeping (japan) or at dinner (the States).
i ended up going to church yesterday afterall, and i'm glad i did =]
i'll definitely stop by to say hello when i visit kyoto again.
i still have a terrible cough, but no other cold symptoms...
i hope it goes away soon.
it's 8am, and i'm already feeling really anxious for the day to begin.
skyping with alice now. and talking to mia online ~ she just woke up =]
10:30am ~ katsura imperial villa
3:30pm ~ birdwatching at mizorogaike with my ecology prof.
i just want to go home already =(
....and study japanese, chinese, bio, chem & physics.
i miss middlebury and want to go back.
i can't wait to be completely busy with things that matter to me again.
in a nutshell, i'm just really anxious for the future, both near and far.
and i can't even express myself coherently right now (this blog post is proof)
maybe i'll sit down tomorrow & write a "real" post.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
in some ways, i haven't changed at all =P
this was the original plan:
3 courses, no labs
- JAPN 475 ~ seminar in japanese studies
- CHNS 301 ~ advanced chinese
- PHIL 206 ~ contemporary moral issues <---easy
then i went crazy & my schedule looks like this now:
4 courses, 2 labs
- JAPN 475 ~ seminar in japanese studies
- CHNS 301 ~ advanced chinese
- PHYS 109 ~ newtonian physics <---not so easy, extra 3 hrs for lab
- BIOL 140 ~ ecology & evolution <---extra 3 hrs of lecture, 3 hrs for lab
.......on top of the following:
- middcheer (captain)
- middialogue
- bookstore job
- moqa (possibly co-president or treasurer)
- senior admissions fellow (i'll hear back this week)
3 courses, no labs
- JAPN 475 ~ seminar in japanese studies
- CHNS 301 ~ advanced chinese
- PHIL 206 ~ contemporary moral issues <---easy
then i went crazy & my schedule looks like this now:
4 courses, 2 labs
- JAPN 475 ~ seminar in japanese studies
- CHNS 301 ~ advanced chinese
- PHYS 109 ~ newtonian physics <---not so easy, extra 3 hrs for lab
- BIOL 140 ~ ecology & evolution <---extra 3 hrs of lecture, 3 hrs for lab
.......on top of the following:
- middcheer (captain)
- middialogue
- bookstore job
- moqa (possibly co-president or treasurer)
- senior admissions fellow (i'll hear back this week)
hasn't hit yet
i just opened a verizon wireless account again.
i'm going to be home in exactly two weeks now.
i'm so excited and i CAN'T WAIT,
but it still hasn't hit me yet.
until i close my postal bank account and cancel my health insurance,
it still feels like i'm stuck here for a while.
my luggage is pretty much completely packed (and has been for a week =P)
so here i sit on a sunday afternoon blogging in limbo.
i'm leaving for fukui with mia in a week,
and the sunday after is the FLIGHT HOME! =)
today would be the last time i'd be able to go to church,
but i'm still coughing up a storm, and it's cold and disgusting outside.
not completely sound reasons for missing service,
but i think i'm going to stay in today =(
i'm going to be home in exactly two weeks now.
i'm so excited and i CAN'T WAIT,
but it still hasn't hit me yet.
until i close my postal bank account and cancel my health insurance,
it still feels like i'm stuck here for a while.
my luggage is pretty much completely packed (and has been for a week =P)
so here i sit on a sunday afternoon blogging in limbo.
i'm leaving for fukui with mia in a week,
and the sunday after is the FLIGHT HOME! =)
today would be the last time i'd be able to go to church,
but i'm still coughing up a storm, and it's cold and disgusting outside.
not completely sound reasons for missing service,
but i think i'm going to stay in today =(
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
nostalgic pain
some of you may already know that i happened across a playground with a swing set last week. i don't believe it was coincidental, but more on that later.
i finished my japanese final today. i didn't do my best, but i did what was best for me physically and mentally. i got it done the fastest i could ~ knowing that i did do "my best" under the circumstances.... this cold is not going away as quickly as i thought it would =(
anyway, to relax and relieve some stress, i turned to the swings. it was my favorite when i was little. and until recently, i didn't realize how much comfort just being on a swing would bring me.
i went home with open blisters on my hands.
*ouch*
but it's the good kind of pain.
....the pain i used to know all too well.
=)
i finished my japanese final today. i didn't do my best, but i did what was best for me physically and mentally. i got it done the fastest i could ~ knowing that i did do "my best" under the circumstances.... this cold is not going away as quickly as i thought it would =(
anyway, to relax and relieve some stress, i turned to the swings. it was my favorite when i was little. and until recently, i didn't realize how much comfort just being on a swing would bring me.
i went home with open blisters on my hands.
*ouch*
but it's the good kind of pain.
....the pain i used to know all too well.
=)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
where i am currently
physical: japan
academic: akp @ doshisha
mental: exhausted
spiritual: a little lost
romantic: matt
where i want to be
physical: new hampshire
academic: midd
mental: in my happy place
spiritual: closer to God
romantic: matt
this past week
religion: paper done, final taken
ecology: final taken
reading class: final taken (today)
church: attended
upcoming
japanese: final tomorrow, oral interview thursday
job: interview thursday ~ senior admissions fellow
akp: farewell party, shimogamo jinja
moqa: nominated for treasurer... elections next week?
ecology: mizorogaike for birdwatching (optional field trip)
friends: fukui w/mia, katsura garden w/danielle & greg, himeji w/nestor?
possibilities/thoughts for the "future"
adding a fourth class ~ physics (to japanese, chinese & philosophy)
thesis change ~ invisibility of japanese lesbianism --> reproductive rights?
monterey ~ MBA for international business (japanese)?
post-bac for organic chemistry, med school later on?
sessions online school of design ~ master's certificate in web design?
i caught a cold two days ago.... if i can gather enough energy, i will explain this post in another post later tonight =)
academic: akp @ doshisha
mental: exhausted
spiritual: a little lost
romantic: matt
where i want to be
physical: new hampshire
academic: midd
mental: in my happy place
spiritual: closer to God
romantic: matt
this past week
religion: paper done, final taken
ecology: final taken
reading class: final taken (today)
church: attended
upcoming
japanese: final tomorrow, oral interview thursday
job: interview thursday ~ senior admissions fellow
akp: farewell party, shimogamo jinja
moqa: nominated for treasurer... elections next week?
ecology: mizorogaike for birdwatching (optional field trip)
friends: fukui w/mia, katsura garden w/danielle & greg, himeji w/nestor?
possibilities/thoughts for the "future"
adding a fourth class ~ physics (to japanese, chinese & philosophy)
thesis change ~ invisibility of japanese lesbianism --> reproductive rights?
monterey ~ MBA for international business (japanese)?
post-bac for organic chemistry, med school later on?
sessions online school of design ~ master's certificate in web design?
i caught a cold two days ago.... if i can gather enough energy, i will explain this post in another post later tonight =)
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
there are a lot of things i don't understand
but i don't need to.
all i know is that i definitely can't pass on this opportunity now.
as i'm burning my tongue with my coffee because i want the caffeine to kick in sooner, my legs and feet are also going numb because i'm sitting in seiza. [mia, i don't understand why i do this to myself either lol]
......that wasn't what i was going to write though.
i just happened to realize that i'm sitting in a tortuous way,
which i will now stop doing.
okay, so what i wanted to write was:
as i'm burning my tongue with my coffee because i want the caffeine to kick in sooner, i checked my email [again!] to find a single, new email. it was about the senior admissions fellows job that i wanted to apply for. the deadline was originally april 9 ~ meaning i only had six more hours to get the application done. (it's the 10th in japan already, but the 13-hr time difference buys me a bit more time... yay!) but with my religion paper still not done, i had lost hope about the possibility of getting a job i really want. anyway, the email was a reminder about this position. i was sure that it would just make me disappointed.... yeah, i know applications are due today =(
i almost deleted it. but i'm glad i didn't. i chose to read it, and...
it turns out the deadline had actually been the 10th! ^_^
[and i'm crazy. my friends can attest to that lol]
i NEED to get the application in.
[and stop blogging so my paper can actually get done :P]
edit:
just wanted to say hi to mia's mom---
hi!! =)
i'll update on the past couple weeks. and try to keep blogging ^_^
nothing's terribly wrong, but i'm sure you've heard similar things from mia ~ it's just that akp/japan can be really exhausting and "de-motivating" at times :(
all i know is that i definitely can't pass on this opportunity now.
as i'm burning my tongue with my coffee because i want the caffeine to kick in sooner, my legs and feet are also going numb because i'm sitting in seiza. [mia, i don't understand why i do this to myself either lol]
......that wasn't what i was going to write though.
i just happened to realize that i'm sitting in a tortuous way,
which i will now stop doing.
okay, so what i wanted to write was:
as i'm burning my tongue with my coffee because i want the caffeine to kick in sooner, i checked my email [again!] to find a single, new email. it was about the senior admissions fellows job that i wanted to apply for. the deadline was originally april 9 ~ meaning i only had six more hours to get the application done. (it's the 10th in japan already, but the 13-hr time difference buys me a bit more time... yay!) but with my religion paper still not done, i had lost hope about the possibility of getting a job i really want. anyway, the email was a reminder about this position. i was sure that it would just make me disappointed.... yeah, i know applications are due today =(
i almost deleted it. but i'm glad i didn't. i chose to read it, and...
it turns out the deadline had actually been the 10th! ^_^
[and i'm crazy. my friends can attest to that lol]
i NEED to get the application in.
[and stop blogging so my paper can actually get done :P]
edit:
just wanted to say hi to mia's mom---
hi!! =)
i'll update on the past couple weeks. and try to keep blogging ^_^
nothing's terribly wrong, but i'm sure you've heard similar things from mia ~ it's just that akp/japan can be really exhausting and "de-motivating" at times :(
31 days
i fell asleep and my religion paper is now late. oh well.
i woke up not too long ago. it's 5:30am.
i'm letting my "delicious" instant coffee cool down a little bit.
then i'll caffeinate myself and finish the paper before japanese class.
or maybe not.
busy weekend. a lot past due. a lot soon due.
ughhhh. matt's still not here yet.
there's nothing for me in japan anymore.
at least in regards to akp.
i'm not stressed. [or so i'd like to think]
i still have so much to figure out >_<
looking forward to easter sunday.
i woke up not too long ago. it's 5:30am.
i'm letting my "delicious" instant coffee cool down a little bit.
then i'll caffeinate myself and finish the paper before japanese class.
or maybe not.
busy weekend. a lot past due. a lot soon due.
ughhhh. matt's still not here yet.
there's nothing for me in japan anymore.
at least in regards to akp.
i'm not stressed. [or so i'd like to think]
i still have so much to figure out >_<
looking forward to easter sunday.
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