anxiety. lots of it. and classes have yet to begin...

the three weeks in woodsville flew by, and now i'm back on campus. i arrived late last night and stayed with a friend who is working in middlebury over the summer. i wasn't able to move into my room until almost noon today. thankfully, everything went smoothly. i'm all settled in and don't know what to do with myself. my (japanese school) friends are either at the optional screening, taking a shower, or studying. our placement exam is at 8am tomorrow. i've been preparing for the test ever since finals ended, and i'm confident that i'll perform well. however, i'm not confident enough in my speaking and listening skills to be comfortable at the third-year level. (i've only studied japanese for one year.) because i've already covered much of second-year grammar with my professors (outside class), i'm worried that second-year will not be challenging enough. i'll be in kyoto less than three months from now, and i want to make the most of language school. do i glide through second-year? or do i struggle my way through third? the feeling of being in limbo has been the root of my high anxiety levels recently. i don't want to disappoint hayasaka-sensei and takahashi-sensei, who have been correcting all my extra worksheets and helping me prepare to skip a grade. i know that ultimately, it's what i'm comfortable with that matters most. still, i can't seem to let go of all the nervous energy that i've been harboring. i think i should go study now.