blog moved

same address (http://jeanie-in-japan.blogspot.com)
different google account.

if you were following me in the past, you might not get updates from blogger. but since my misadventures in japan are over, i don't think i'll be blogging on this one anymore.

happy disorientation?

my parents at the restaurant; alice at a track meet.
being home alone = lots of time to clean and sort things out.

for the first time in three years, i'll be living at home for more than a couple weeks at a time. well alice took over my room when i left for midd, leaving me without my own space.... so i decided to convert her previous room into something i can comfortably live in the next four months. this is proving to be a huge task, unfortunately. more about unpacking/cleaning later.

"home" feels so familiar, yet foreign at the same time. not much has changed. woodsville seems the same as always. but then, why do i feel like i don't belong? like something's missing? or that something isn't quite right?

......since i was feeling happier than i had been for a while, i figured i'd be able to sit down and write an entry. but i guess my thoughts are more "all over the place" than i realized =(

reverse culture shock

yeah.
for sure feeling its effects.

*SCREAMS*
='(

home

i miss japan a lot, but it's good to be home.

i had forgotten how much nyc remains a part of me.
and how seeing the nh/vt mountains makes me feel at peace.

no reverse culture shock yet.
i think.

things that are different/things i had "forgotten" about:

• no timetable for the subway
• having no idea where to line up on the platform
• being able to read everything
• cat calls/getting hit on
• telemarketers

things that made me happy/excited to see in my house:

• MY DOG!
• jar of fluff
• wonder bread
• english muffins
• special k w/strawberries <--so "American" to me
• light ranch dressing
• stairmaster
• my dumbbells
• things for the dorm

this is all i can write for now.

one part of me wants to write about hanging out at the airport with our japanese friends until the very last second. and why/how the ten-hour flight from japan to san francisco felt like no time at all. and the significance of the last several days in nyc. and the bus layover at boston. and being picked up at white river junction and going to taco bell with cameron and courtney. and watching game 5 of the nuggets-mavericks series with my family before passing out.

but the other part of me doesn't even want to think about everything that's happened in the past two and a half weeks.... let alone the past eight months.

i'll write when i'm ready. until then, thanks for reading and keeping up with me. i'm sure i'll see most of you at some point in the next couple months =)

-jeanie

not goodbye

i walked through teramachi & shinkyogoku for the last time yesterday.
rode the hankyu home for the last time.
said "ただいま" for the last time.
ate the last dinner with my host family.
took my last shower and bath.
slept in my bed for the last time.

i thoroughly cleaned, vacuumed, and wiped things down for two hours.
the whole time, it didn't feel real.
it was just something that i was doing.

i made a new playlist for my iPod ~ "airplane! home!"
charged some batteries for my little old sandisk,
and mindlessly sync'd music to that as well.

my luggage is sitting downstairs now.
mama & papa came up and got them not too long ago.
and now i sit at my desk blogging....
because i don't know what else i can do.

i've been fighting back tears all day.
i have 30 minutes before i leave my house.
and i have no way of expressing my emotions right now.
this leaving thing, this having to say "goodbye" soon,
it really sucks ='(

but i know life goes on.
and that i'll be back to visit.
and that it won't be sayonara,
but rather, またね。

falling into place

5 days, 4 nights in the lucky well.
fukui ~ ふくい ~ 福井

i wish i could express what fukui has come to mean for me.
not an easy feat. and no energy to try tonight.

a lot of happened in the past ten days.
A LOT.

leaving the rest for individual conversation,
i'll just briefly follow-up on the last few posts.

MOQA Co-President ~ elected!
Middlebury Open Queer Alliance

Senior Admissions Fellow ~ got the job!
interview prospective students, hold information sessions & open house events...

i found out about both on my cell phone while in fukui.
then add cheerleading captain---it's going to be a busy year ahead.

excited. nervous. anxious. numb.
everything seems to be coming together.

tomorrow is my "final" day in japan.
sunday will only consist of traveling and goodbyes.

especially after last week & the subsequent events that followed,
i'm left feeling empty and still unable to take everything in.

i'll write a real entry soon.
maybe tomorrow night.

lots of conflicting emotions stir amongst the confusion.
but i know faith will heal my spirit in time...

the afters - falling into place
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-kTIgji_xc

leaving the stress behind

i'm running late.
mia's running late too.
so what else is new?

i'm really beyond stressed at this point.
i'll elaborate later, i suppose.

email me at niko.niko.neko@ezweb.ne.jp
i love getting mail on my cell =)

i'm actually going to leave my macbook at home.
i need to be functional without it.
that, and fukui should help me RELAX,
not freak out even more.
i was going to use my macbook to:
- study chemistry
- finish my grant application
- journal every night
- watch a movie on the JR with mia
- keep my iPod charged
- other stuff

but i'm leaving the stress behind.

i hope i'll come back to kyoto feeling refreshed.
after all, i'll only have three days left in japan when i return...